My Home Away From Home

I'm gonna miss this place and I had a hell of a run in the legal world.  It opened doors for me, I met some amazing people and made a lot of friends.  Except for some short term jobs I had when I first moved to Washington, my bosses have been the best.  Truly ethical people who did their part to help the little guy.

Rest in Peace, Old Paint

Well, our uber reliable Toshiba copier finally died.  It hit a million copies in February, 2010, and died in May, 2011 with 1,136,045 copies on it.

It'll be sad to see it taken away next week.

Blah Blah Blah

I was over on Sugar Mag's blog earlier and she was talking about having the February blues.  I'm not one who is affected by SAD, but I am feeling a bit bored, restless and unable to concentrate on anything too.  I tried making jewelry over the weekend but was not into that either. Nothing's sold on Etsy in awhile but I haven't really done much to promote it. I'm between craft projects and between books.  I have had a lot on my mind lately.  A LOT.  It will become clear in a few months, but I am unable to do anything right now and that's part of my restlessness. I'm the world's most impatient person and so this goes against my nature.  It's also why I can't concentrate on anything.  Crafts, my job, every day life....can't do it.  Too preoccupied.  Don't know what to blog about right now, and the thing I need to blog about and get off my chest, I can't.  Yet. 

I had to take my camera to be cleaned at the camera shop in Lakewood, and despite being told it would be ready on Saturday, they neglected to tell me that they meant 'late afternoon'.  So I went out there when they opened for nothing.  I was pretty pissed.  Sunday was a really nice, clear and warm day too.  I wanted to go down to Mount St. Helens but w/o a camera, it's not worth the 200+ mile round trip drive.  I was hoping to go next weekend since I'm off for 4 days but the snow level is dropping so looks like I won't be taking any day trips next weekend either.  Trapped again.

38 more days till my trip back to Cape Cod.  That should be very interesting.  I just hope it doesn't snow.  I am really, really looking forward to the trip though.  This is the first time I can ever remember being stoked about heading east.  It'll be fun to see my old friends & my family.   Not to thrilled with the airport security procedures, but at least I can fly in comfortable first class. 

My job is getting more and more stressful.  All we do now is go to trial.  We seem to have a trial every week.  Half the time we can't get a Courtroom and we have to 'trail' for 4 days, which means we have to do all the trial prep, all the copying of exhibits and writing the legal memorandum and stuff, then my boss goes down to the Courthouse to sit around and wait for a Judge.  Most of the time the date gets set over, but we still have to go through all the machinations, just in case he does go out on the first or second day.  All anyone wants to do is fight.  The lawyers are fighting, their clients are fighting and no one wants to give an inch to the other side, so we go right up to trial.  There are some very, very damaged children out there, thanks to their parents' selfishness and using the kids as pawns in their sick little games.  We have so many high maintenance clients.  I just can't stand my job anymore.  I like the writing and all, but it's the constant demands that are made on us, as if each person thinks they are our only client.  I'm sick of being screamed at b/c phone calls & emails aren't being returned immediately.  Sometimes I think "Bittersweet Symphony" by the Verve is my theme song.

I get home at night and I'm so tired, but I try to sleep and I can't turn my brain off.  I can't eat.  My heart pounds so loud and so fast, it feels like it's going to come out of my chest.  I think I need to have a good cry but I can't even manage that.  I need peace and quiet.  I'm sick of noise and stress.   I never ever get the house to myself, yet I feel so alone.  It's all I can do to keep from running.  Far away.  Fight or flight is kicking in again and I'm having a hard time fighting.  I'm exhausted and I want to give up, but I can't, not now.  I've been freefalling into an abyss for such a long time, but it's coming to an end soon.  The light at the end of the tunnel isn't a train after all, but I still have a ways to go before I get there.  So every time I feel like this, I listen to "Tubthumping" by Chumbawamba: "I get knocked down, but I get up again, and they're never gonna keep me down..."  Makes me feel better to have a rallying cry I guess.  I've always drawn strength from music and lyrics that mean something to me.  

Maybe I'll make a mix tape, since it's clear I won't be going to sleep any time soon tonite, despite my utter exhaustion.  

The Family Law Community Takes a Hit

The family law community in Pierce County is pretty small.  We work with the same attorneys over and over again.  Staff knows staff.  Everyone knows the Judges, their Judicial Assistants and Court Reporters, and they know us.  That's not to say that there isn't conflict because there is, and a lot of it.  Sometimes with family law, the lawyers are sniping at each other as much, if not worse, than the divorcing couple is.  

But when something really bad happens to someone in the legal community, even one who has been in an adversarial position with you, it hits everyone hard.  Because it could just as easily happen to any lawyer or Judge that works in this field.  I don't believe in god or anything, but that expression, "There but for the grace of god, go I" comes to mind.

We had a terrible tragedy come to light over the past few days.  Back in October, a woman filed a Petition for an Order of Protection.  The Temporary Order was granted, which restrained the other side from harassing her, but only until the hearing.  At the hearing, the Commissioner heard her testimony.  She told him that the man was the father of her child, but he had been violent in the past and she had taken out Restraining Orders in Thurston County about 5 or 6 years ago when he'd hit her a couple of times, but mostly now he was just calling her incessantly and occastionally making threats.  He was in and out of prison, she did allow him to see their kid, and even visited him while he was in prison.  He was going to be out in 3 months' time, and she was afraid of him.  The Commissioner ruled that the reasons she stated for needing the Order of Protection did not meet the statutory requirements, and denied her request.  Technically she wasn't in imminent danger because she'd even visited him about 6 times while he was at the work release center. 

Weeellll, the other night the guy got out of prison. Apparently she told her friends that since she couldn't get the Order of Protection, she felt that she had to be nice to the guy, in order to keep him from going off on her.  So she invited him over to discuss the Parenting Plan she was trying to get in place, which would allow him residential time with their kid.  And while their 10 year old daughter hosted 4 friends for a sleepover in the room next door, they argued and he stabbed her to death.  The children heard the fighting and screaming.  The little girl saw her mom covered in blood, dead on the floor and will be traumatized for the rest of her life.  

The Commissioner did his job, but he's starting to take a beating in the media, especially from the family of the murdered woman.  It's easy to obtain the transcript of the hearing and all of the documents if you go to the Courthouse and request them. That said, I'm not going to name him here, because plenty of news agencies are covering this story, if you want the specifics.  This Commissioner a tough nut, I will say that for him.  He puts family law attorneys through their paces when they enter final divorce documents on the Ex Parte Docket.  He will refuse to sign final papers and assign case law for the attorneys to look up; in essence sending the attorneys back to the drawing board, even when all of the parties agreed on the documents.  

But right now, I feel really, really bad for the Commissioner.  I do.  I empathize with this man and this situation.  He doesn't have an easy job.  No one who works in family law will say it's easy. It's definitely interesting, but extremely tragic.  I learn new things every day.  I have seen some really fucked up situations, including DV.  But only because some people can afford to hire an attorney, we are able to ensure that the request for a Protection Order meets the statutory requirements.  Unfortunately, this has happened before, and it will probably happen again.

It's a horrible position to be in, as a Judge or Court Commissioner, in family law.  You literally hold the future of these people's lives in your hands, and you have to sift through the all of the vitriol and bullshit, and try to find some middle ground.  You have to consider the law and all the statutes, and see who makes a better argument.  If the woman had an attorney, all the i's would have been dotted and the t's crossed.  But who can afford a lawyer?  Hardly anyone.  More people than not try to do it themselves, with little to no guidance.  You have the lack-of-education-factor with many of them.  The Commissioners and Judges have to struggle to not show their frustration outwardly at the Pro Se people that show up for the 1:30 DV Docket.  Now this Commissioner has to live with the media backlash that's already started.  It hits the whole family law community hard when something like this happens.  I don't know the Commissioner personally, but I feel like I do.  I cannot imagine what he must be feeling now.  I'm sure that there will be plenty of vocal detractors in the legal community with an axe to grind, but we won't be among them.  My boss is as distressed as I am about how he is being treated by the media.  This kind of thing is a judicial officer's worst nightmare.  No matter how often you grumble about what the Judges and Commissioners did or did not do, you don't want to ever see something like this happen to a colleague.  

The system is broken.  It needs to be fixed.  I'm the first person who will admit that a piece of paper labeled "Order of Protection" is not going to help, and any victim of DV will tell you it's a joke. However, and unfortunately, if one isn't on file with the Law Enforcement Support Agency (LESA), the cops can't take the offender to jail if they break the Order.  That is, if you can get the cops to show up.  The instances of DV are increasing and the law enforcement budgets are shrinking, so cops are stretched thin.  The Commissioners and Judges are bound by the statutes to issue, or not issue, Orders of Protection.   I don't know what the answer is.  Everything in the legal system is so convoluted, especially went it comes to family law.  Issues have gotten so complex that the forms have gotten longer and longer.  How are uneducated people supposed to figure it out? Even with the help of the staff at the Family Justice Center, it's very complex.  Hell I couldn't even figure out the latest version of the Order of Child Support, and I've been working in law since 1990!  That form has grown to TWENTY PAGES!!!

Now a woman is dead because her fears came true, a Commissioner is under fire & being vilified in the press, and more likely than not, feels just horrible about it.  A little girl has lost her mom to murder and her father to prison for that crime.  He's been charged with Murder 1, which means they may seek the death penalty.  The 4 girls who were in the house that night, and their families, are going to be dealing with the psychological ramifications of this for a damn long time.  

And so will we.