Mt. Rainier and Lenticular Clouds - Dec. 2008 copyright: JMM

September 26, 2006

An Exercise in Self-Loathing

Since mid-May of this year, I've been religiously working out at least 3 days a week for 30-45 minutes (equal cardio & weights), or doing yard work if I don't work out. I've been living on fruit, veggies, whole grains, yogurt, fat free frozen yogurt and cottage cheese. I started taking the appetite suppressant H57 Hoodia as well. So there I am, plugging away at the gym, a middle aged lady trying to keep my body from going south like the geese each winter, surrounded by spandex covered gym treats complaining about their "fat butts" and guys strutting and preening in front of the mirrors, and me silently cursing them all, "may the fleas of a thousand camels invade your armpits...."
Since scales are verboten in my house, I can only go by the way my clothes fit to know if I've shed any tonnage. To my delight, shirts that were once too tight now fit, and I also noticed more room in my pants & shorts. My t-shirts which once stopped at the top of my ass now hang down covering my ass, which ass my hubby tactlessly remarked one day "looked like [it] was smaller" (the look of horror on his face as he frantically tried to backpedal was priceless). Good news, yes?

So last week I decided to go get some clothes. I'm way too cheap to pay retail, so I go to my fave thrift shop, Value Village. I've gotten lots of great like-new stuff there. I go over to my size in the pants racks, and take a bunch into the dressing room, already thinking how stoked I'm going to be getting more clothes; maybe even a size down!!! However, to my utter astonishment, I couldn't get them past my knees. How can this be? I thought, when my old clothes, in that same size, are loose. I check the pants and they all have the correct size. OK, I go the next size up. I can't get those bastards on either!!!! So I have to go the next size up, and I'm completely mortified and embarrassed by this time, and those fit! I bought them b/c I desperately needed new pants, but why in the world do I have to buy 2 sizes higher when I've clearly lost weight? My already low self-esteem is in the gutter, and quite frankly, I've slacked off on going to the gym out of sheer frustration.
Can anyone out there explain to me what it is I'm doing wrong???? Are garments being outsourced to places like Macau and the Phillipines where everyone is teeny tiny? Is that why brands that once fit in one size only fit in larger sizes? The pants I buy are all brand name like you'd see in department stores. I give up! Screw it, pass the ice cream.


  1. Jojo, obviously they have to be wrongly sized.... and if you wear shorts you can't be that big anyway... I wouldn't be seen dead in them

    cut the labels out and forget about it... if your clothes are loose,then you have lost weight...

    oh bad bad me... I've just finished off the last square of chocolate

    lotsa luv ann xxxxxx

  2. LOL, Ann.

    JoJo, I think lots of clothes are skimped. But you must also remember that you may have converted some of that fat to muscle, and it's your walnut crunching buttocks that take upo room, not you old flab.

  3. val said it, you have been working out and your body has probably changed shape a bit...i wouldnt worry about it if you feel good you will look good...that said...i have been on this "diet" since 8/15...i have only lost 8 lbs, and have a ways to go, but i havent worked out one bit, which is my big job is processing health insurance claims, i get to do it from home, but i sit and sit and sit all day....(i have very slim fingers as they are the only body part that gets a workout!)but my ass, which was never my begining to s p r e a d! i find i am needing different sizes when i shop as well....also i found this interesting...and a lot scary...went to shop for clothes, not a thrift store, but is like a TJ max or Marshalls, name brands for less, yada yada...anyway, tried on some I have always been big breasted, since puberty it seems, but all of a sudden i am a 36DD???? what is up with that? i always wore a C or D (depending on how much cleavage i wanted to show...back in the day....) but a DD? with a backstrap of 4 hooks?...gee wizz had to buy it though, tired of my knees bruising my ta ta' in there jo jo!