Hot Head and Her Funny, Funny Man.....

I have a hot head. I mean over and above my volcanic temper which is always simmering under the surface. But seriously, my head is hot. I never wear hats or scarves in the winter because the cold air feels so good on my head. I blast the air conditioning in my car every morning, every season, no matter what the weather, until my face feels icy and my nose starts to run. Then, and only then, will I turn the a/c down or off, and I leave the vents open so that air is still blowing on my face. But the second I am stopped at a light or in traffic and that constant stream of air isn't blowing on my face, the a/c gets cranked back up to 11, till I am moving along again.

Whenever I finish any kind of strenuous exercise - be it the gym (the what now?) or mowing the lawn or cleaning the house - no matter how cool my shower is, I still end up sitting in front of the fan letting it blow directly at my face and head.

I always used to love getting a little drinky-poo when we'd go out to eat; I've always been a huge fan of the Whiskey Sour. I especially loved the beginning of holiday weekends, when I could imbibe a bit in a deliciously sweet Sombrero, or powerful pre-bottled "T.G.I.Fridays" Long Island Iced Tea. But over the years, I began to notice that, not only do my sinuses get hopelessly plugged when I drink any kind of alcohol, but my face feels like it's on fire. The flush starts at my neck and works it's way up to the top of my head. Even my scalp is red. The skin on my face feels hot and tight and I get itchy all around my jaw line, esp. under my ears. It's very uncomfortable and I really feel like if I don't get something cold on my face immediately, my head's going to spontaneously combust. That's when I uncouthly dig into my water glass and start rubbing ice all over my face till it's soaked wet and starts to cool down. Rather than endure this horribly uncomfortable and embarrassing ritual, I just stay far away from alcohol.

Nighttime can be uncomfortable, especially in the summer when our a/c is laboring day and night to keep the house at 68F. The second my head hits the pillow, the pillow gets too warm. I flip it over and enjoy a few precious seconds of comfort before that side gets too hot. Then it's toss/turn, toss/turn till I finally fall asleep. I do get some relief in the winter months because I seal off the bedroom heating vent so that heat never, ever is on in that room. You open the door to the bedroom and it's shockingly icy. We've mused about whether we could cause a thunderstorm in the hallway, by simultaneouly opening the hot, steamy bathroom & icy cold bedroom doors and watching the mini-weather systems collide. But I digress.....

I came up with an idea to help with the nighttime hot-pillow problem. Because we have the world's smallest freezer, I obviously can't jam my entire pillow into it to keep it frozen all day till bedtime. So I started putting a pillowcase in a ziplock baggie and keeping it in the freezer instead. When I go to bed, I put the frozen case on the pillow, and put a new case into the freezer, and then alternate them every night. Brian thinks this is absolutely hysterical. I think it's absolutely necessary. At least the frozen case keeps the pillow colder, longer, so that maybe I can fall asleep.

So yesterday I went upstairs to refresh my Crystal Lite Ice Tea (no more Long Island), and opened the freezer to get some ice cubes. Bright blue caught my eye and I was wondering why Brian would have put a freezer gell pack on one of the shelves, so I looked down. What the.....is that a NOTE in my pillowcase bag....?

.....What's it say? I lean in to get a good look.......

"ROTFLMAO".

Funny, funny man.......

Ed. Note: Do you like the juxtaposition of the Lean Cuisine frozen food directly under the Cookies & Cream ice cream? Now that's "ROTFLMAO"!!