Pleased as Punch

I've been a bit distracted of late, because Brian's been having some "issues"....the kind which required a colonoscopy. Last night he did the laxative extravaganza, or as they call it "The Cleansing Protocol" which I'm sorry, sounds like a procedure that would have come out of 1930's Germany. Anywho, he said that the experience redefined "shitting your brains out". I took him for the procedure today and everything's A-OK, i.e., no cancer and no polyps. Just a big herkin' hemorhoid. He was sent on his way with instructions to eat a high fibre diet. Needless to say, I nearly burst into tears of relief. He was wicked hungry when we left so we grabbed a quick bite at Denny's before heading home. He's still hungry so he went out to get a big ol' burger for dinner but I'm still a bit full from my club sammich.

I will, however, stop short of posting the very festive photos they included on his written report. Brian teased that he wants to use one of them as his screen saver.

There is a history of colon cancer on my father's side of the family; his sister died from it and dad always had polyps. This is why I have always committed to eating a high fibre diet of my own. I figure if you keep things moving along, nothing can stick around and grow. This is why American low-flow toilets don't accommodate my needs. ahem. So while my doctor has been telling me I should have one done, I'm putting it off as long as possible.

I'm also pleased because, being the uber-efficient person that I am, I decided to schedule the installation of new kitchen and upstairs bath sinks and faucets for today, since we would be home anyway. It ran about $1,600 over budget but lemme tell ya, it was SO worth it. While they were here we had them change out the flusher-dealybob on the upstairs toilet and the sink pluggy-thing in the downstairs sink. Isn't it sad that my father was a plumber and yet I picked up virtually zero of his knowledge or the terminology? First time my toilet overflowed I stood there screaming "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" at the top of my lungs....I had no idea what to do, except grab a pot and start bailing water into the tub. I didn't even know there was a shut off valve. It was 6:00 a.m. and I called Brian at work in a panic, shouting, "WHAT DO I DO???" He goes, "My god, your father was a plumber how could you not know what to do?" What the hell did I know? I was too busy with my crush-of-the-week and collecting records and baseball cards.

So between the unbelievably expensive high tech generator installation last January, the new gas range, new sinks/faucets, fixed front deck, new mailbox and the roof and gutter cleaning, we've sunk well over $10,000 into the house this year. Fortunately all in cash, so we didn't have to charge any of it. We just keep thinking "equity equity equity" every time we do another upgrade.

After the plumbers left, Brian logged on to his email and found out that Blog Talk Radio has listened to a few of his shows and have decided to list him as a "Premier Show" because of his topics, interviews, skill and listener stats. I'm so proud of him! I always told him that he'd kick ass at radio, and as one who did radio for years, he is a thousand times better than I ever was. I sucked at audio production so bad that I switched my major from Mass Communications Radio to Mass Comm TV Production after my sophomore year.

Finally, I'm pleased because the weather here is just fantastic right now. Simply glorious!! As I write this, it's about 55 degrees, dark and pouring buckets. We are in full-on fall and I couldn't be happier. I spend the hot summer days lurking in my centrally air-cooled home, with all the curtains and blinds drawn....blackout fabric covering the front door and my bedroom window so as to shut out the hot sun. But in the fall and winter, I feel like I come alive.

Thanks again to all of you who sent good thoughts and karma our way.