Mt. Rainier and Lenticular Clouds - Dec. 2008 copyright: JMM

April 21, 2011

When One Person Ruins It For Everyone

Hello my loyal readers.  I appreciate all of you accepting the invite for Tahoma Beadworks, since I have had to change this from a public blog, to an invite-only blog, due to the actions of two psychos, who came after me and my squeeze last Friday, because of information they gleened here.  It was so bad that I had to delete the entire post about how he and I met, because her friend left a very nasty "Anonymous" comment. I deleted the comment, and, out of sheer frustration and anger, deleted the post before I decided to change to invite-only.  I do regret that because it was a great story.  Needless to say it was a very upsetting and stressful weekend for he and I, having to deal with the lies and repercussions thereof.  I want to thank all of you for your support and your help, especially last Friday when the shitstorm hit. 

Unfortuately, my squeeze's ex is unbalanced (as is her best friend, who was in on the attacks). Somehow, she found my blog (still not sure how) and she came absolutely UNGLUED when she read the story of how he and I got together.  Most, if not all, of you know what was said, as I told you in private messages.  To be honest I wasn't terribly surprised to find her messages in my inbox b/c he told me he'd gotten a text from her that morning and she was good and mad.  She's one of those 'if I can't have him, no one can' bitches.  I knew her in high school.  She was a slut then and she's a slut now.  As long as she has contact with him, even if he's angry and telling her to leave him alone for good, she seizes on that contact.  She nearly succeeded in driving a wedge between us, but he & I refused to let that happen.  We both could have let this escalate to an all-out war, but neither of us has the time or desire for it.  This isn't high school anymore.  The less we engage her in her twisted games, the more likely she'll be to back off.  Hopefully.  Fortunately she lives in Florida.

It's a pity because I don't let people bully me and I take shit from no one.  I was bullied in school a few times and I learned to stand up for myself.  I don't care what I put out there in public about me and my life, and I adopted a rather defiant "who-cares-what-she-thinks?" stance. I thought about turning on comment moderation, but the bottom line is, if Tahoma Beadworks remains open to the public, she will still be able to see what I am up to, comment moderation or not.  And also, he cares, and sometimes fears for my safety.  That is why I agreed to compromise and lock down my blog so that she can no longer track my every movement and activity, while still being able to write & post what I want.  It's a damn shame, but I understand the necessity for it, especially at this time while he and I are apart.  I know one thing, it sure motivated me to settle on my last day of work.  I have now scheduled the PODS container accordingly, and I have made the flight reservations for my honey to come out here and drive back with me.  After nearly 7 months of long distance contact and only a few precious days in March when we saw each other, it's going to be a novel concept of (1) Being in the same time zone when he's on the road and (2) Finally knowing that at the end of each week, he will come home to me.

Still, I'd really love to know how the bitch found my blog in the first place, because my Facebook profile is set to the highest privacy settings and the link to my blog is on FB.  Maybe it's because I erred and put my baby's name in the post and she googled his name and that came up. I did, however, have to change my Facebook message settings so that only Facebook friends can contact me.  It used to be that anyone could send me a message, in case an old friend was looking for me.  But because I received 3 unbelievably horrible FB emails, full of lies, from the psycho and her friend, I had to change that as well.  In addition, I used to have my blog posts automatically published on Facebook, in case any of my non-blogging friends would want to read it.  I've also had to disable that function b/c I am now FB friends with some of his relatives and friends, and I don't know who I can trust not to be snooping on the psycho's behalf.   I really have no idea how much digging this woman has done, or is doing, to find out what we are up to or how serious we are.  It's pretty obvious that I will be unable to post any information about my upcoming trip/move back east, either here or on Facebook.  Although I am confident that we will have no further problems, I've learned my lesson about prematurely sharing too much.

He warned me though.  He told me this could happen if I kept pouring out my personal thoughts in public like that.  He has implored me to stop blogging so much information, telling me I can vent to him and to my friends.  For one, I like to write.  My blog has become an outlet for that and that's what I'm used to now, esp. since I can type faster than I can write in a journal and without the writers cramp.  For another, because Brian had told me that my bad moods or my venting about a bad day adversely affected him and his moods, I stopped discussing my thoughts with him or venting if I had a bad day.   But I admit, I didn't take my squeeze seriously when he said the information I put out there can bite me in the ass.  I never expected to be blindsided by what happened last week.

Now that my blog is invite-only, it probably won't show up in your Dashboard as having been updated every other day or every few days.  I hope you guys won't forget to stop by to see if I've updated. 

Will I go back to having my blog public?  Maybe at some time in the future, but not for awhile, and definitely not till I get back to the east coast.  Knowing her, she will keep checking in from time to time to see if I have gone public again.  It's just a pity that she had to ruin it for everyone.


  1. There are always people who can't take others' happiness. She's jealous, but it doesn't make it any better for you when she crawls out of her cave and goes after you.

    Who knows how anyone finds anything on the internet? There are doorways within doorways (Ooh, I sound like a story by Axe!)

  2. Your blog, you say what YOU want - and if it has to be in 'private' so be it. Maybe we should feel sorry for 2 people who have so little to do with what passes for their lives that they feel the need to try and piss on yours!

  3. Hahaha, Val, too true! :-)

    Honey, I don't care if your blog is locked down in fucking Fort Knox, your true friends will always read you. Your personality is terrific and awesome, as are your writing skills and I will not allow two cunts to spoil it for me, for one.

    I'm sure those of us here are the only ones who NEED to be here anyway, so screw the lot.
    You are right, she is jealous and you should REVEL in it...and if you hear from it, rub her damned nose in it and laugh!!! xxx

  4. Mine is locked too,for privacy reasons,and so is Axe's.We definitely see your reasons as MORE than appropriate! Fucking psycho bitches.I always knew my gender was an unhinged and mostly cowardly bunch.

  5. I'm here and I'm checking in on you. I have always enjoyed your blog and hope that you will continue and that I will continue to have access to it. Let's hope all the drama settles into a new normal! Right? Right!

  6. The update on my blogroll seems to still be working for you. That's how I knew about this post.

    I can relate to Russell about privacy... I am not a huge sharer either, but you are, and I'm sad that has been messed up for you. Even if it is temporary.


  7. Yeah, it was from Networked Blogs, I'd say... one click and she found the blog. I've been somewhat concerned about that too, but so far, no one is stalking me. But Facebook Networked Blogs is easy to find, regardless of settings, since it is listed as a link. So if he *commented* on the link, there it was, on HIS page. She probably could find HIS FB page through their mutual friends.

    I am somewhat paranoid about privacy, being a liberal in a conservative area... the main reason I use a pseudonym. If you ever want to blog publicly again (AND YOU SHOULD, you are talented!) --think about a fake name. One friend got a new blog under a fake name and then linked her old blog in the sidebar, but the only way you would know its the same person is by clicking onto the new one (w/the fake name). So she has stayed under the radar as far as the former trolls she was plagued with (for similar reasons)... ex husband, his scuzzy friends, etc. (It's funny, because HE was the one who wanted the divorce, and it is almost as if he didn't really expect her to take him up on it, or something! Then he was angry when she found someone else!)

    BE CAREFUL, ye olde green-eyed monster is scary and real.