Mt. Rainier and Lenticular Clouds - Dec. 2008 copyright: JMM

August 1, 2010

Clothes Shopping and Other Unpleasant Tasks

AKA, Getting a Round Tuit.

I desperately need pants but I just loathe clothes shopping. I always have. I was never the kind of girl who looked forward to clothes shopping, picked out stylish items and changed three times a day. It was always a horrible chore when I was growing up. I would do anything to get out of it. My mom would try to roust me at 8 a.m. so we could get to Hyannis when the stores opened at 9, and I would feign deep sleep for as long as I had to, to put off having to go. My mom is one of those people who notices the tiniest flaw in clothes. If a seam was 1/6 of an inch off, she'd notice it. Hours and hours I'd be in the dressing room, being scrutinized head to toe, until finally one item might just pass her eagle eyes. My dad used to joke that her Indian nickname would be "Wide Eyes". But this really took a toll on my self esteem as I was brutally criticized with each new shirt or pair of pants: "You shouldn't wear straight leg pants, it accentuates your big rear end", "When we get these hemmed, I'll have the seamstress use dark thread instead, because the coloured thread at the bottom of the pants legs accentuates how short you are", "I don't like the stitching on the back pockets, it draws attention to your big rear end". Because you just can't hear that stuff enough when you are a child. As a result, I am a complete and utter slob with the way I dress because I just loathe going to get clothes. And don't get me started on the horror that is bra shopping.....another item I desperately need but haven't shopped for in years and years.

I know I've gained weight, but I am sorry, they are not manufacturing accurately sized clothing for women anymore. I was looking at a shirt today that was tiny, but marked as 1X. I thought it was mis-marked till I saw the one behind it was the same. This is a trend I've noticed over the past few years. What was once a normal medium or large, is now being marked as XL or 1X. And the reason I know this to be true is that whenever I buy a decorative tourist or tie dye t-shirt, I buy XL, just like I have for the past 20+ years, and it fits perfectly if not a little loose. The tshirts have remained marked their correct and standard size over the years, while other clothes have not.

And the thing that really goes up my ass a mile, is when I'm browsing through a catalog, admiring pretty shirts, and then see: "S, M, L, XL - $29.99, 1X-3X - $34.99." FUCK. THAT. I mean why don't they just come right out and say, "Hey! You! Fat Ass! Yeah YOU! You are so FAT that we have to use more fabric and more thread to clothe your FAT self and so we are penalizing you for being so FAT by making you pay an extra $5.00." It's bullshit man. Seriously. Especially when 1X used to be normally sized as a Large or Medium. I have asked other people if they've noticed this mis-sizing trend and have heard the same complaints. It's discriminatory. It's clear that the manufacturers are taking full advantage of the fact that most Americans are overweight and need the larger sizes.

So I sucked it up and went to Fred Meyer to get a couple pairs of jeans since they were on sale. Of course now I have to get the jeans hemmed which is the story of my life. I still need more pants, but at least I'm finally getting around to it. I saw some pretty cool looking shirts but when I examined them, the fabric is so sheer and flimsy that they looked like they'd fall apart in the first washing. When I saw the price I was floored. I am sorry but I'm not gonna pay $30.00 for a flimsy piece of shit from Mexico or The Philippines, that probably cost all of .50 to make. And ALL of the clothes are like that, everywhere I go. I can't afford Macy's or most department stores for the "good" clothes, but the clothes at places like Target, Fred Meyer, etc. are piss poor quality.

Another unpleasant task I finally got to was contacting Norton about not being able to get it to work. I knew I was flirting with disaster, and today when I tried to go to my blog, I got a security warning that mal-ware was attached to it. Fortunately I got to the live chat section of Symantec's site and a tech in India (of course) helped me. It was more than creepy to allow him to take control of my computer like that, and see my cursor flying around the screen, opening and closing things. As a fan of "The Terminator" franchise, machines that seem to be doing their own thing really scare me. About a half hour later, it was all done. I really should have taken care of this ages ago but it's another of those things I just hate doing. I think it's because I'm always expecting something to go wrong. I know I'm a 'glass half empty' kind of person, and I do believe in Murphy's Law. Because anything that can go wrong, will go wrong, and it usually does. That way if things go smoothly and/or efficiently, I am pleasantly surprised, but if things do go south, I was prepared.

Our upstairs medicine cabinet fell apart. The upper hinges on 2 of the doors snapped off, so both are hanging at crazy angles, and the bottom hinges are so stressed that I am worried both are going to fail and then we'll have shattered mirrors everywhere. And the last thing we need is more bad luck. (Both the center and far right doors are broken).

Brian and I are not do-it-yourselfers at all. I don't know how to do it, and he sucks at it. He admits he sucks at it. But come on, how hard can it be to remove one from the wall and put another one up? Still, this is going to require a trip to *snore* Home Depot. I hate hardware stores as much as I love craft/bead stores. I am dreading this trip big time.

The thing is, after I've finally dealt with the unpleasant task set before me, I always feel sooooo much better that it's over with and I can put it behind me. Like today, I cut the front yard and blew the crap off the driveway. It looks great out there, but it took forever to get motivated to deal with it.

But the backyard still isn't done!


  1. I used to love shopping for clothes when I was a size 3. Now that I'm a size much larger than 3, I hate it. Usually I do a once a year thing and that's it.

    Interesting about size changes. When I was working in the clothing industry, I remember we re-sized clothing. Smalls became extra small, mediums became small, large became medium and xl became large. xxl became xl.

    We apparently wanted to use the psychological manipulation of making women think they were wearing a size smaller than they really were. So now they appear to be going the other way then...

    The fashion industry pretty much sucks, IMO. lol

    Good luck with the back yard. I HATE yard work. Fortunately in my 'senior citizen' community (my husband is the qualifying person, I got four years before I could qualify)we have a yard service, snow shoveling service, etc.

    I don't generally procrastinate but when I do, I really do. lol

  2. Anonymous9:14 PM

    Honest-to-God, you absolutely kill me...I almost pissed my pants from laughing so hard from reading this. You need to take your "who gives a shit what pants you're wearing" and take it on the're that funny! My mother used to make all of our clever tailoring made for a "custom fit" and the hell with the size bullshit. I was in the clothing business too, and depending on where the clothes were made or who the manufacturer was determined what size THEY wanted to label them with. True, there was a time when marking the sizes smaller gave you this heady feeling that you were able to be included in that sacred territory of the tiny. It's funny you should mention about the 1X, seems to be prevalent these days...what island was XL banned to? I hear you about the yard work, I just got the front pretty much in shape after having to wait through days of too beastly hot weather to even move in. The back is "The Jungle Book" where any day I expect Mowgli to come knocking on my window. Just an enjoyable post,, I loved this one...I like them all, but this one is a classic!

  3. I HATE HATE HATE clothes shopping, when I used to shop. Ahem.
    I feel your pain, babe. Try being muscular AND curvy (fat)....I look like a fat MAN in a mini skirt. Hahahaha! So now I do the denim jeans thing and some boots and screw the rest!

    As for the cupboard and the back yard...shit, I should be there. I can fix anything! Really! And my Hellmom made sure I get around a backyard in a flash....hence the man calves :-))

  4. Hey,

    Yea, I was going to email you because I couldn't get on your site for a day or so because I was getting malware warnings... It started with the car post. (Just in case you need to nail down the time frame for any reason.)

    Good luck with all your "tuits"

  5. I'm with Nantz on this one. You absolutely blew me away. Holy shit, I thought I was by myself in the more material, more money dilemma. You are a freaking hoot and can tell a story like nobody's business. When, oh when, is the novel coming out? You are simply the best Jo. Cheers Sweetie!!

    P. S. Please be careful. We don't need you nor hubby hurting themselves with glass!!

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  7. I'm a big Marks & Spencer fan. They have a wide selection of summer skirts in all sizes, in 3 lengths, all at the same price. They have trousers in all sizes in 3 lengths, all at the same price. They have lots of tops that cover a multitude of sins, in a multitude of colours. Nor are they expensive. I buy them all.

    All I need is enough wardrobe space. And enough space to put more wardrobes...

  8. Music Wench - I've missed you so much! Glad you are back! And I don't think I've been a size 3 since I WAS 3!

    Nantz - Thanks! And i do wish that the garment manufacturers would just settle on a standard size.

    Axe - Believe me, if I could get you to the states I would!

    PF - I was getting those malware alerts too w/ that post, but then they went away. That was weird. That day I had trouble finding everyone's blogs.

    BBG1 - And I have missed YOU as well! Where've ya been??

    Val - Does Marks & Spencer have a catalog? lol

  9. Anonymous11:52 AM

    I've decided it's pointless me shopping for clothes because I'm neither 12 years old nor a twiglet ;0)

  10. No, JoJo, but they do sell online - Don't know if they do foreign, but I don't see why not. Course, you'd have to know your size in UK. It will sound MUCH bigger than your US size!

  11. sorry jojo - I'm a shopper and I'm not even small - well yeah I'm 5'0" but round - and yesterday I bought 2 gorgeous bras - really pretty ones - and even if you don't do clothes howsabout accessories - shoes and bags - I've seen all your beautiful beaded bags - wow

    You guys really could do with m & s

  12. Diane - The clothes for kids really make them, esp. the girls, look like little tarts.

    Val - The last thing I need is to have the psychological problem of being a larger size in the UK! lol

    Ann - I'm not into accessories either. I own a pair of sneakers. One broken down pair of shoes. Work boots, hiking boots and that's it. lol

  13. Dngrkitty2:51 PM

    Ugh... I'm with you. As you know, my problem is vertical. I have a million pairs of the yoga pants they sell at Target because they make a TALL size. I don't throw any pants or shirts in the dryer for fear of shrinkage. And shoes? Don't get me started...