Saw this in the Spillsbury catalog, which sells mostly jigsaw puzzles.
"PERSONAL HYGIENE HAS NEVER BEEN AS STIMULATING! ONE SIZE FITS MOST MEN!"
"Solves that age old bathing dilemma and adds a 'hole' new dimension of PLEASURE and fun into your shower or bath."
"Good 'clean fun' for couples too!"
"Just a few quick 'strokes' of the Weener Kleener will clean and sanitize most appendages. Additional cleaning may be desired but is not necessary."
And my personal fave:
"If the Weener Kleener ever becomes stuck, soak area with COLD water."
Just for the record, the hole's way too small for Brian. He would want you all to know that. lol