That was an email I received from Brian last week, after lunch. I thought it was a new joke or riddle. I'll bite: How many cops does it take to arrest 1 drunk homeless guy? I eagerly awaited the punchline.
Yeah. It wasn't a joke.
Brian went on to explain:
"I was coming back from lunch and I saw this King County deputy pull over to talk to a homeless guy standing on an island thingy, next thing I know I hear sirens and see 3 cop cars screaming back towards them. I figure something's up so I turn around. I get back to where they were and there are 3 cop cars and 5 cops all with lights on etc.
One old homeless guy is already cuffed and sitting on the ground. Here come 2 more cars with 3 cops.
I had a bad feeling since all the cops had those "dick" looks on their faces, so I park nearby and then walk up to within about 30 ft and just stand there on the sidewalk watching (as a citizen observer). Of course the cops don't like that at all. They start asking me what I'm doing, I tell them. They tell me to move on, I say, "No, I'm standing 30 ft away on a public sidewalk, I am in no way impeding you and have told you why I'm here."
Here comes the cop attitude, at which point I advise them they are f**king with the wrong person, I'm not a homeless guy they can abuse or some street punk who runs his mouth, I know what I'm talking about and I'm a member of both the ACLU and Center for Constitutional Rights. At that point the cop turns away and talks to his buddies, I continue to stand there, observing.
Then they tighten his cuffs and the homeless guy swears at them, they then say they are going to arrest him for swearing at them. At that point I get out my cellphone and hold it up like it has a camera in it. Well you can imagine the reaction that got.
They asked if I wanted to go to jail with him. I replied that I'd already been there more than once, before he (the cop) was even born, and it's no big deal (this really pisses cops off as that is their biggest threat, and when you deride it they HATE it!). They ask me what the camera is for, I told them, "So I could document an illegal arrest. "Illegal?" they say. "Yes" say I, "the Supreme Court has ruled time and again that profanity towards law enforcement is covered under Free Speech." Now the homeless guy is starting to take interest. I see him watching me so I yell to him, "IF THEY ARREST YOU CALL THE ACLU!!" He nods.
Cops have a quick conference and then release the homeless guy and tell him to leave and if they see him again he goes to jail.
Then the cop I had the conversation with says: "And you better hope I don't see YOU around either." I then hold the phone up towards him and ask "Is that a threat Deputy? Can you repeat it a little louder?" HAHAHA, he got in his car and they all left.
The really amusing thing is that Brian doesn't have a camera in his cell phone; he was totally bluffing, but the cops didn't know that. And while Brian was quite animated when re-telling me the story when we got home, I know that he was quite calm when he was talking to the cops. They really did pick the wrong person to fuck with. But seriously, 5 cruisers and 8 cops for ONE drunk homeless guy? Who wasn't even doing anything except maybe panhandling in the island?
....Get Up, Stand Up, Don't Give Up the Fight!