Mt. Rainier and Lenticular Clouds - Dec. 2008 copyright: JMM

March 6, 2008

Wretched Ads from the 1930's!!

I got these forwarded to me in an email from my friend Ellen. They're even worse than the set I posted last summer from the early 60's!!

"Someday all beer cans will open this easy!" Apparently, Schlitz pioneered the soft top aluminum can? This one isn't so much funny as it is nostalgic, to think that people had to use a can opener like the one shown here. I vaguely remember my parents, aunt & uncle using these kinds of can openers for stuff like V-8 juice.

Isn't it good to know that more doctors smoke Camels than any other brand? I love the tag line "For 30 days, test Camels in your T-Zone (T for Throat, T for Taste)." And then experience C for Cancer in your T for Throat, M for Mouth and L for Lung Zones. My parents were smokers, but they preferred.....

.....Chesterfield! Just like Santa! And all this time I thought it was the smell of my mom's stale cig smoke lingering in the air on Christmas morning, when in actuality it was a sign that Kris Kringle had paid my house a visit! I hope that, by now, the elves have lobbied for a smoke-free workshop.

I knew a few people in San Francisco, specifically in the Castro, who would hang this sign on their front door in a heartbeat.
Go on people! Have a cigaret! You could get hit by a bus! Or an asteroid! You wouldn't want to die without having that last great smoke, would you? Better yet, when you are riddled with cancer, maybe they can cut a hole in your throat through which to inhale the cigaret!!! Let's face it, you could die of lung cancer tomorrow, go on - HAVE A FAG!

I'm hoping that you can click on the pictures to make them bigger and so that you can read the ad for this one. It's absolutely disgusting. Apparently Tom has grown indifferent to his wife...we'll call her Betty. She can't seem to reach him anymore. I guess Betty was only tending to her stinky bits "now-and-then" but her doctor pointed out that she should NEVER run such CARELESS risks, and prescribed Lysol brand disinfectant for douching. "Oh the joy of finding Tom's love and close companionship once more!" Betty exclaims. She is no longer satisfied with salt, soda or other homemade solutions! Not with Lysol's germ-killer, that cleanses "so gently, yet so thoroughly".

I'm sorry, but there ain't no way I'm spraying Lysol on my tender woman's area...but at least nowadays it comes in attractive scents.

It's a good thing my mom never saw this ad when I was a kid or the product probably would have been one of the many diet aids forced upon me. This one literally gives me the dry heaves. Every time I picture a jar full of live tape worms, then taking one out and actually swallowing it, my stomach churns. Especially their "easy to swallow" claim. ew ew ew ew ew As I write this, I am gagging. Oh hey, maybe that's the REAL purpose of the ad, to gross you out so bad that you can't eat at all, hence the weight loss.
But here's a question, if the country was in the middle of The Great Depression and everyone was on food rations & bread lines, why would anyone need to lose weight? Here's another question: How many tapeworms are you supposed to swallow, that you would need an entire jar of them? And where did they get the tape worms to begin with? This ad just opens up a big can of worms doesn't it? (oh please, like you weren't thinking the same thing).
Now they're not-so-happy because they have big lard asses!!! Please tell me people in the 1930's didn't eat lard straight out of the can or box or however the fuck it came packaged. Again, gagging here. And who was on the Lard Information Council? Picture it, won't you? Hubby comes through the door, Wifey is ready with his martini & slippers. He says, "Guess what honey? I was just elected to the Lard Information Council!" She beams with pride at her man's great accomplishment.

That slut! That wanton hussy! Tramp! Harlot! Trollop! Skanky ho-bag!!

Don't you love how they blame the woman for having VD, but fail to point out that she got it from some pus infected dick? Hey, as long as she douches with Lysol.....


  1. Anonymous9:55 PM


    great job JoJo and i love your editorializing. fucking A people were so ignorant way back but then they still are. stupid sods!!

  2. Anonymous9:55 PM

    hey, Tess, where did you go? just saw you here a sec ago.


  3. Sorry, I was grossed out and laughing, I forgot how to spell so I had to delete my comment.

    What I wanted to say was...Maria Callas ingested tape worms on a regular basis to stay thin. While she loved the results, she said the most disgusting moment of her life was when she was in the bath and one of the worms exited her body...

    BTW..Lysol. Oh, I'd love to smell like a pine forest.

  4. My mother told me stories about older ladies using the Lysol thing!She said it caused burns and horrible things just to there skin on the outside!

    I think one day chemo will seem this crazy too.I hope so.

    And yeah,the lard ones grossed me out!I know,I'm from the South,but everyone was using Crisco by the time I was born,no lard.But then again,adding a slab of fatback to veggies is the same (no I don't do that either).

  5. you mean, people actually had sex in the 1930s?

  6. Anonymous2:48 PM


  7. Just, Oh-My-God. The horror, the horror...

  8. Lizzzard9:10 PM

    EEEWWWWW!!!!!!!I may never be able to eat after the worms comment...EEEEEWWWWWW!!!

    Brilliantly funny though....

  9. Ah - but you really CAN'T blame a woman for having VDO!

    You are really on form, JoJo!