A Meme from MusicWench

MusicWench did an interesting meme on her blog the other day, with new and funnier questions, so I decided to answer them too. Anyone who wants to play along can feel free to copy & paste. Some of the formatting got screwed up and I can't seem to change it.

1. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up?

I only get ONE choice? OK then, either Sarah Palin or Octomom.

2. You can flip a switch that will wipe any band or musical artist out of existence. Which one will it be?

Seriously, again with the 'one' choice?! I really hate Bruce Springsteen. Gonna have to go with Springsteen.

3. Who would you really like to just punch in the face?

Former Oakland Rayduh's quarterback Jeff Hostetler. I really can't stand that guy. I have always wanted to punch his face in.

4. What is your favorite cheese?

Cheddar.

5. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your immediate disposal. What kind will you make?

An east coast style Italian sub.

6. You have the opportunity to sleep with the movie or sports celebrity of your choice. We are talking no-strings-attached sex and it can only happen once. Who is the lucky celebrity of your choice?

I'll get in trouble with the Vincent Vixens if I don't automatically pick Vincent.....but I've had a crush on John Pyper Ferguson for many, many, MANY more years than Vincent. Plus Pyper spends a lot of time in Vancouver, so he's a lot closer than Vincent who is all the way in NYC. Pyper was also gracious enough to accept my Facebook friend request AND he personally responded to a short message I sent him.

7. You have the opportunity to sleep with the music celebrity of your choice. Who do you pick?

It used to be Bob Weir from the Grateful Dead, but the Bobby of 25 years ago. There aren't any current musicians that I'd sleep with now.

8. Now that you’ve slept with two different people in a row, you seem to be having an excellent day because you just came across a hundred-dollar bill on the sidewalk. Holy shit, a hundred bucks! How are you gonna spend it?

Probably something to eat because I'm ravenously hungry from all the sex. Or spend it on beads.

9. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?

Newfoundland or Nova Scotia. Seriously. I am dying to see the Canadian Maritimes and beachcomb on Grand Manan Island.

10. Upon arrival to the aforementioned location, you get off the plane and discover another hundred-dollar bill. Shit! Now that you are in the new location, what are you gonna do?

Buy a piece of local artwork, either a picture or beadwork or some other locally made craft.

11. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. It is…?

I don't drink because I seem to be allergic to alcohol. I wouldn't mind a lifetime supply of Jone's Pure Cane Sugar Green Apple Soda.

12. Rufus appears out of nowhere with a time-traveling phone booth. You can go anytime in the PAST. What time are you traveling to and what are you going to do when you get there?

Who in the Sam Hill is Rufus? (who in the Sam Hill, is Sam Hill?) A time traveling phone booth? Um, OK I think that's called a TARDIS. But I digress.... Any time in the past? Well I would love to have been at the Human Be-In in Golden Gate Park in January, 1967. Or the summer of 75.

13. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place?

No annoying your neighbors with barking dogs, screaming children, loud engines or loud music.

14. You have been given the opportunity to create the half-hour TV show of your own design. What is it called and what’s the premise?

MusicWench and I are on the same page with her answer: "...Good News and feature uplifting, happy news stories instead of the horrible stuff we're faced with everyday. NO POLITICS. No kidding. lol Me, political junkie is tired of the negative ragging on each other and screaming. Even the liberals are screaming and it's making me nuts."

AGREED!!!!

15. What is your favorite curse word?

What the Fuck. Fuck you, you fuckin' fuck. Get the fuck outta my way. Fucking-A. Are you fucking kidding me??? Also Jesus Fucking Christ. That's another fave.

16.One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do?

Lose all bladder control and try to scream but nothing comes out then die of a heart attack.

17. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the item?

I don't want to answer this b/c this has been an all consuming fear of mine since a series of traumatic fires in my hometown when I was 7 and I can't talk about it. Maybe someday I'll blog about it; it help make me confront it.

18. The Angel of Death has descended upon you. Fortunately, the Angel of Death is pretty cool and in a good mood, and it offers you a half-hour to do whatever you want before you bite it.

I'd give away all my stuff to my friends to make them happy. Scott, I don't know if you read my blog or not, but YES YOU STILL GET THE WACKY PACK COLLECTION.

19. You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What’s it gonna be?

Telekinesis. I desperately want to throw slow-moving cars in front of me off the road. I fantasize about it during my commute every day, especially when I'm behind a Volvo, Subaru or the trifecta from hell: A mini van with disabled plates and the driver is on the phone.

20. You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?

Set II of the Grateful Dead on October 30, 1991, Oakland Coliseum: Eyes of the World into the best Estimated Prophet I have ever heard in my life.

21. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

Geez there are so, so many of them. I can't possibly pick just one.

22. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world! Bitchin’! What country are you going to live in now?

Oh god that's a no brainer: British Columbia, Canada. Preferably on Vancouver Island in a custom built log home.

23. This question still counts, even for those of you who are under age. Check it out. You have been eternally banned from every single bar in the world except for ONE. Which one is it gonna be?

Wow. Couldn't care less. I don't drink and I don't like bars.

24. Hopefully you didn’t mention this in the super-powers question…. If you did, then we’ll just expand on that. Check it out… Suddenly, you have gained the ability to FLOAT!!! Whose house are you going to float to first, and be like “Dude, check it out…I can FLOAT!”?

What an utterly bizarre question. But honestly, I think I would be too busy taking aerial photographs to bother floating to someone's house to tell them I can float, unless I happen to be floating past their house when I'm taking pictures.

25. The constant absorption of magical moonbeams mixed with the radioactive vegetables you consumed earlier has given you the ability to resurrect the dead famous-person of your choice. So which celebrity will you bring back to life?

Jerry Garcia. Then I'd send him in for quadruple bypass surgery, then to long term rehab so he could quit the smack for good.

26. The Celestial Gates of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person, etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back?

My dad for sure.

27. What’s your theme song?

Estimated Prophet by the Dead. The first time I heard it was late 1987 and I heard the studio version on WZLX radio in Boston. I was just getting into the Dead, and I was already focused on moving to San Francisco. My family didn't believe that I would go and dismissed my constant talk of 'when I move to SF...'. The people at work didn't believe I'd ever quit such a high paying, union job at Channel 56. I would voice my desire to live in the Bay Area and be met with patronizing head-nodding. Estimated inspired me and really lit a fire under me to make it work. Guess I showed them. The album version is great, but when they do it live, and they really jam it out, holy shit it will blow you away. Especially the verse that starts, 'you've all been asleep you would not believe me!' when Bobby is really belting it out and the band is just so loud and hitting the crescendo. These are the lyrics:

My time coming, any day, don't worry 'bout me, no
Been so long I felt this way, ain't in no hurry, no
Rainbows end down that highway where ocean breezes blow
My time coming, voices saying, they tell me where to go

Don't worry bout me, no no, don't worry bout me, no
And I'm in no hurry, no no no, I know where to go.

California, preaching on the burning shore
California, I'll be knocking on the golden door
Like an angel, standing in a shaft of light
Rising up to paradise, I know I'm gonna shine

My time coming, anyday, don't worry 'bout me, no
It's gonna be just like they say, them voices tell me so
Seems so long I felt this way and time sure passin' slow
Still I know I lead the way, they tell me where I go

Don't worry bout me, no no, don't worry bout me, no
And I'm in no hurry, no no no, I know where to go

California, a prophet on the burning shore
California, I'll be knocking on the golden door
Like an angel, standing in a shaft of light
Rising up to paradise, I know I'm gonna shine

You've all been asleep,
You would not believe me!
Them voices telling me,
You will soon receive me!
We're standing on the beach,
The sea will part before me
(Fire wheel burning in the air)
And you will follow me,
And we will ride to glory
(Way up the middle of the air)

And I'll call down thunder
And speak the same !
And my word fills the sky with flame!
And might and glory gonna be my name, MY NAME!
And men gonna light my way!!

[insert insanely hot, 5 minute, face-shredding jam here]

My time coming, anyday, don't worry bout me, no
It's gonna be just like they say, them voices tell me so
Seems so long I felt this way and time sure passin slow
My time coming, anyday, don't worry about me, no ...

Can you see why "Estimated Prophet" inspired me to move to California?