The Proverbial "Other Shoe" has dropped

Welp. Shoulda known this was coming. Had a feeling it would.....hoped it wouldn't. But it has.

Brian got his official lay off package today from Weyerhaeuser. This past winter, once he told me that they'd sold the Oregon plants to International Paper, I knew this was coming. He'd escaped several downsizing meetings, and morale was in the shitter as it was. Last week was the final push to get all the files and claims boxed and sent off. Since Brian does all the Oregon claims, he was left with maybe 15 of them. The normal claim load is about 100 - 150. I'd remained optimistic and didn't even talk about the "what if you get laid off" thing b/c he was under enough stress as it was. And being a man, he doesn't like to share bad news w/ me till he absolutely has to.

His last day is Friday, although he'll be paid in full thru the end of October, and he said the company is giving him every opportunity for assistance etc. But now, of course, I have to scramble to find health insurance for us. I know he'll get a new job and all that, but he went thru all that training, got certified, made countless trips to Oregon over the past 2 years. It sucks.

While it's too late to cancel the trips to California in less than 2 weeks, this means that going to Portland to see Julie just isn't gonna happen. Lots of things aren't going to happen. I have already called our financial guy and had him immediately stop the automatic w/drawal from our account for a Roth IRA. Will have to let Mr. Vu go, after this month, which is actually OK as we are coming onto winter and if I can get our lawn mower fixed, we'll just do the mowing ourselves. Catalogs with dog-eared pages of things I wanted to order are going into the recycling.

I want to cry, I feel it right there under the surface, but I can't. I'm still too numb. I have a million things running around in my mind. What about the cost of our meds. What about health insurance. Can we afford day care for Sagan anymore. What can we cut back on that are extra's that we don't need. What am I gonna do about Xmas gifts for people.

We've always gotten by before on one salary, and he can get unemployment and all after October. This just SUCKS.

But this is happening all over the country, so I'm really trying to keep that in perspective, and just focusing MORE anger at Bush. He's done a good job of running this country into the ground. Thousands of Weyco employees have been let go over the past 7 months. Mills closed or sold. Whole towns are dying b/c the mills closed.

So I really should try to look at the bright side - he's not the only one getting laid off, he'll have a paycheck for another 2 months, we are relatively healthy, I still have a job and a wonderful boss who will let me sit and weep tomorrow when I tell him, and knowing Steve, he'll probably offer to let me go home. Usually I try to soldier-on whenever I'm at work under personal, emotional stress, but if he offers, I may take him up on it. The vehicles are paid for & have been recently tuned up and we'll save gobs of gas money with him not commuting every day. Since he'll be home to play and walk the dogs, we can cut back on Sagan's weekly day care. We only have a mortgage & a couple of credit cards that have smallish balances. Compared to a lot of people, we're still in good shape, our credit's in fantastic shape. I'm trying SO hard to focus on all the good things in our lives. We've been together 19+ years and still love being together. I have gobs of craft supplies I was stocking up on for the day when I wouldn't be able to buy them at will. We hate our town but we love our home and neighborhood. It's very cozy. We live in a beautiful area. Our doggies are our babies.

But it's still a shock to the system, to put your heart and soul into your job and get the heave-ho.

I know, "things happen for a reason", "when one door closes, another opens", etc etc etc, and I also know it WILL sort itself out. In the meantime, we need to grieve b/c losing a job is a "death" and needs to be dealt with.

So think good thoughts for us and keep your fingers and toes crossed. We've always landed on our feet and I'm hoping this time will be no different.