Oh how I loathe summer

Well it's another crappy-ass day here in Washington. It's sunny and hot. My car is hot. My office is hot. I get blinded by the sun when I go into the kitchen in the morning, screaming, "MY RETINAS!!!" as I get a faceful of blinding sun, and now all I can see is friggin spots. I am convinced that I have Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), in the wrong season. SAD is a real condition and it effects a lot of people in the Pac NW during the winter. You have to be a special kind of person to deal w/ the dark days, and I am one of those people. I am a proud "Mossback" and I'm only happy when it rains.

Each spring, I tell myself, OK, here comes summer. Don't resist it, don't fight it....embrace it. Enjoy those looooooong days, where the sun doesn't even set till well after 9:00 pm, plunging us into a perpetual twilight that doesn't truly go away till close to 11:00 pm. Get that deck furniture cleaned off and put out all of the yard decorations. Get Brian to put up the Skychairs under the deck so that you can read and doze on a warm day, swinging gently in the breeze. Buy some charcoal, grill more and eat outside on the deck. Take Pepper for walks every day after work. Get to the gym after work. Do a little yardwork. Yeah I hate to sweat and be hot, but everyone loves summer so much, so try to get in their skin and walk around in it, as Atticus Finch once told Scout. See what all the "summer love fest" is all about.

Then the first day we have that's over 75 degrees, which happened in May, I find myself hiding in my centrally air cooled home, lurking behind drawn blinds and drapes, putting up "blackout" fabric over our front door windows to keep the sun out. Sitting in the dark family room, lights out, watching TV. Wailing like a vampire at dawn if Brian so much as puts the family room blinds up even a crack, "SHUT THE SHADES!!! IT'S TOO BRIGHT!!! MY EYES!!!" He calls me "Cavey" b/c I like it dark. Even my boss hates coming into my office in the afternoon, after the wretched sun has finally moved off my east-facing windows, because it's really dark and the adjustment going from our bright reception area to my dark office is startling.

A few years ago when Robyn was still here, she was always cold. It could be 95 degrees outside and she's in her office bitching b/c the air con is set to 72 and she's freezing. I finally started coming to work in shorts and tshirts. I told her that I can't possibly do any more to cool myself off, other than come to work buck naked. I have a fan, but all that does is blow the hot air around. Steve finally had to bring in a portable air conditioner for my office to try to reach a compromise. Well, since she's been gone, I've got the air con set at 68.

At home, we don't let our house get above 68, ever. Not even in the winter. The a/c is set at 68 in summer, which we bring down to 63 at night. When we run the heat in winter, we set it for 66. I hate being hot. I take lukewarm showers, then go in my room and stand in front of the fan b/f dressing. Yes I've talked to several doctors, and all I've been told, for the past 15 years, is that I am in "perimenopause" which I find hard to believe that it could last 15+ years. I know it's not normal to be hot like this all the time, but I am. Even when I was a kid, if I got up off the couch to get something, my mom would get up and sit in my space b/c it was so warm.

But alas, this is the second summer in a row that the patio furniture has stood on the deck filthy w/ 2 winters' worth of dirt and debris and unused. This is the second summer of no Skychairs, no yard decorations, no walkies with the doggies, no working out after work, and no yardwork either. This is the second summer of no grilling (we did it once last year. Once).

OK, so in my defense, June is always an iffy month in Washington, weather-wise. This year it was very cold and rainy for weeks. I was a happy camper. Next thing we know, it's the 4th of July, and in my opinion, after that, it's just too late to bother w/ lawn decorations, Skychairs, etc. Now I have to deal with the long, hot slog till Labor Day. I have terrible allergies and find myself with gooped up eyes and sinuses, sneezin' and wheezin' my way through each day.

The bottom line is, I have always dreaded summer, even though I had them off while growing up. I dreaded having to buy a new bathing suit each spring, which meant HOURS of trying them on, one-piece only, no two-piece for this kid, and then being scrutinized by my mom, under very unflattering lights no less, of how bad I looked in the suit, unless of course it was one of the years that I was on a strict 1200 calorie a day diet. I was raised to be ashamed of and hate my body, and the thought of ANYONE seeing me in a swimsuit filled me with major panic. I would only swim in my Aunt's pool w/ my cousins, and occasionally go to a public beach at the ocean or lake. My bedroom was un-insulated and was stinkin' hot in the summer, even w/ fans blasting away. Humidity absolutely kills me. I pass out easily when I get too warm.

The only time I like it nice and sunny is when I am on vacation. I have nothing to fear, weatherwise, when I go to SF in August. Where Donnie lives is away from the "fog belt" and it should be quite pleasant. It never rains in California in the summer. And after nearly 6 summers in hot Marin County, where it stays in the 90's day after day, with a few days in the 100's just for good measure, I could not wait to get up here. And don't give me the "it's a dry heat" argument, b/c it's still HOT. We went to Las Vegas once in late May and it was 110 during the day, and 100 at night. Never again.

However, till then, you can find me hiding in my cave-like quarters, doing crafts and Facebooking, waiting to emerge like a bear coming out of hibernation when the days get cool and short.