10 Years

It's hard to believe that my dad passed away 10 years ago tomorrow.  Today would be my parents' 66th wedding anniversary. I made this altered book in about 2005 or so, to help me work through my grief.

The lyrics at the bottom are from the Dave Matthews Band song, "The Dreaming Tree".  I love the song but it makes me cry every time I hear it.

Dad's on the left, mom on the right.  They thought they were invited to a costume party at their beach house, hosted by my cousins. So dad put on a wig and one of my mom's pant suits (how 70s), and they got some huge orange and pink sunglasses.  Not sure where mom got the shirt but she's wearing a captain's hat.  We arrived at the beach house and they were shocked to find out they misunderstood the invitation.  Hilarity ensued.

Dad used to perform in the annual Lions Club Minstrel Show.  He was a member of the main chorus and often sang a solo (as seen on the left, he was singing 'Baby Face').  He got great pleasure out of dressing in drag for the Flora Dora Girls.  I always laugh at the unfortunate flash bulb reflection on his balloon boobs.  

He always took me to see the Red Sox.

He marched in many town parades as part of the Lions Club.

At the airport when our 3 week trip to California commenced in August, 1988.

I got this note when I got a raise at Channel 56.

The last time I saw him in April, 2003.

Butterflies & Bournedale

Butterflies of Cape Cod reopened for the season on June 1 so I headed down to see their new habitat.  I inquired if they ever sold any of the jewelry I dropped off last fall and I was pleased to receive a check from the sales!

Their new habitat is really nice.

Can't remember the name of these moths, but they only live a week because they don't have a mouth!  The caterpillars are able to eat but once they emerge as moths, they starve!  Poor things.

Oh HAI!

More getting ready to hatch.  This features only regional butterflies and ones that can live in our climate.

Around the grounds.

Then I walked up to the old Bournedale Schoolhouse and the smaller building next door.

Reflection of the schoolhouse in the window.

Bournedale Schoolhouse, 1897.

No idea what it's used for now, but it looks like a preservation group is looking for donations to upgrade the place.

Baby and Dad Projects!

Card I made for our niece who recently had a baby!  BTW, I went to see baby Abigail when she was 6 days old and she's adorable and so teensy!!!

This is the inside writing area.

And a cross stitch that I kicked butt on, because I started in mid-May for an early June birth!  I needed a frame and rather than get a generic one, I bought a plain wooden frame, painted it pink and then added the 2 flower stickers.  The stitched lettering gave me fits and I ripped it out a few times before I got it right.  I was pretty bummed that the lettering in the picture on the kit looked nothing like the lettering instructions given for the alphabet and numbers.  

I also did a Fathers Day altered book project for my honey.  I was so excited to do it and it only took about 2-3 hours and I was sad it was done so quickly.  I'm leaving the pics in a small size to make them as anonymous as possible, as I've not asked the kids if it's OK for me to post pictures of them here. I also haven't posted pictures of this project on Facebook because I don't want the kids to be embarrassed or uncomfortable with their baby pics being shown.  The first on the cover is him with them at Disney World from 2000 when they were still quite small.  (You can click on the pics to make them bigger though).

The photos on the left side of each page are of Russell with each child when they were babies or toddlers, plus a small professional picture of them and the right side of each page has a recent photo of him & each kid. I spent quite awhile looking at all his old photos and it's true what they say: First child is in 1000 pictures, second child in 200 by themselves and the rest with their older sibling, third child appears in most photos with his siblings!  lol  I had my pick of great photos of his eldest, but boy did I have to dig for ones of the youngest!!

His oldest son

His daughter.   She is the only one of the three who knew what I was doing because I had to get her over here to shoot her pic with him!  

Youngest son.  This pic of them, taken one Sat. when they went golfing together, was what gave me the idea for this project. 

The 2 youngest visited us one afternoon so I got a pic of them with him, and then I had to add a cut out of one of his oldest, because he lives in Ohio now.  They've told me in the past that it's next to impossible to get all 3 of them together in the same place, so this was my only option! 

Haters Gonna Hate

It seems that I have my very own cyberstalker.  The odd thing is, it's not someone I was expecting, but it is someone I knew in the past.  Someone with whom I was friendly in junior high, who changed schools or moved and reconnected on Facebook. Even back then she could run hot and cold, one day being friendly and the next being snotty.  After the initial FB 'Hi How Are Yous', we really didn't talk much anymore.  She never commented on anything I did or posted and didn't appear to be on FB much at all, till last summer when she was campaigning for a candidate in our state.  Her tactics were abusive and invasive, even calling some of our classmates at home at dinner to try and solicit money.  She was very belligerent in some of her comments when our more conservative classmates disagreed with her. A few people privately told me that they had half a mind to complain to the candidate's campaign manager about her over the top rantings and bullying people to get donations.  At some point last summer I unfriended her because I was cleaning house of people I didn't talk to at all.  It was nothing personal, and she certainly wasn't the only former classmate or coworker that got cut.

Earlier this year she was angrily commenting on someone else's thread...I happened to put my two cents in on that same thread.  She sent me a message demanding to know why we weren't FB friends anymore.  She was clearly very angry.  I told her it was nothing personal....I had removed people that didn't use their profiles much and/or didn't interact with me.  I got back a super vitriolic message screaming at me and sarcastically saying that she was sorry she didn't live up to my expectations as a FB friend.  She unloaded to me about all of her health problems and abuse issues from when she was a kid.  I was already in a bad mood at the time, it was January which had started out really crappy for me, so I tersely messaged back that, for one thing, I'd unfriended her last summer and it took 6 months for her to even notice, I was sorry she was sick and that I had also grown weary of her incessant postings about the candidate which bordered on abusive.  Well that did it.  She went off on me big time.  Big time.  It was so bad that I had to block her because I just didn't feel like keeping up the messages and I had other things to worry about.

Next thing I know, I got a FB message from someone I didn't know.  But I had a hunch it was her.  She went off about how ugly I am, how much I've let myself go, how blind Russell must be to be with me.  Five minutes of quick internet research revealed that the person's name on the message was her dead mother's name.  Plus she used a pic of her candidate as the picture for that profile!!  My god did she think I fell off the turnip truck and didn't know it was her?  I messaged back that I was sorry she felt that way, sorry that she was jealous of my happiness.  I told her all that anger and hate was bad for her health, that I was beautiful inside and Russell loved me the way I was.  I then reported her to FB and blocked that name as well.

A few days after that, one of my old friends sent me a message, asking me who she was.  I messaged back, 'why? did she go off about what a horrible person I am in a status?'  She said yes, and that she wasn't about to take it without sticking up for me.  I didn't ask her to do it, and I told her to let it go....that my friends would never believe anything that person said anyway, and my detractors would (And yes, I do have detractors out there).  Whatever, right?  So my friend said there was no way she was letting it slide and she apparently told off my stalker.  My friend found herself also unfriended by that person, right after that.  

I pretty much thought it was over till a couple of months ago, I got an email from Pinterest saying that she was now following one of my pinboards called 'I love my man' which has lovey-dovey quotes on it.  I immediately blocked her on Pinterest.

The other day I checked my Google+ account for the first time in ages.  During Blogging A-Z, some of the blogs I visited had a comment feature that posted to Google+.  I didn't realize comments would end up on MY account; I thought they went on the blogger's profile.  I was stunned to see a vitriolic, hate filled comment from her at the end of May, telling me what a pathetic, fat, ugly loser I am and what a loser Russell is.  How immature I am for posting stuff on Pinterest that say 'I love my boyfriend'.  I only skimmed it...I was just so shocked that she was continuing to harass me all these months later.  I started to leave a 'fuck off and die' comment but I didn't want it to escalate, so I deleted everything I could off my Google+ account.  I've also disabled the ability to email me on my blog.  I have stopped short of taking this blog private like I had to do 2 years ago, but if she starts to harass me here I will have to turn on comment moderation (but never CAPTCHA because that won't stop her).

I don't know why she is so obsessed with me and trying to tear me down.  Clearly I'm living rent free in her head.  She's got it in for me and is trying to engage me in a free for all message/comment war, but I'm not going to bite.  As the quote says, "Someone who hates you normally hates you for three reasons:  Either they see you as a threat, they hate themselves or they want to be you."  Well, I'm not a threat.  Based upon her angry comments on other people's FB threads, an angry tirade against her sister that I saw a year or so ago, and some stuff she said in messages to me, she's angry at the world and hates herself.  Does she want to be me?  I have no idea.

To be honest, I pity her. I've been in that angry place and it's no fun (although I never tried to tear someone else down in the process).  Friends who know about the situation think she's a complete whack job but I told them to feel sorry for her.  She's obviously in a lot of pain and miserable.  She's railing at the world and I've become an easy target for her to bully because she's jealous that I've found happiness and true love with a man who is crazy about me & loves my body the way it is.  Women/girls can be so mean and they like to go for the jugular when insulting other women by using the ultimate self esteem destroying 'you're fat and ugly' comment.  Personally I don't care and I've never cared what people think about me.  Love me as I am or walk away.  I'm so done with diets and my man makes me feel beautiful & sexy, and that's all that matters to me.  I haven't seen a picture of this person, but I can only imagine that her nearly 50 year old self probably isn't the youthful person she was at one time either.  She's jealous that I have friends who love me and stick up for me, and that I've lived a very interesting life full of awesome experiences.

I'm not sure what to do at this point.  If I run into her somewhere & she gets in my face, or she purposely shows up at a craft show or a wake/funeral just to fuck with me, I will have no choice but to take out a Restraining Order on her.  I am hoping that my ignoring her vitriol will make her go away.  I've done this blog post in the off chance that she'll see it and realize that I'm not going to engage her in a war of words.  Maybe people will think I'm being weak by walking away instead of standing up for myself but I just don't have the time or energy for this at all. I hate conflict and I'm not going to play her game.  I have my own life to live.  I know the psychology behind her attacks and I truly feel sorry for her because she's in a lot of pain, mentally, physically and emotionally.  I only hope that she can find peace.....or at least someone else to direct her anger at.

Bottom line is that haters are gonna hate, and there's nothing I can do about it at all.