Stadium High School, Tacoma

Beautiful Stadium High School is located in North Tacoma.  

Killer view of Commencement Bay.  I wouldn't get much work done in class if I went here, I'd be too busy staring out the window.

The brickwork is amazing.

My Home Away From Home

I'm gonna miss this place and I had a hell of a run in the legal world.  It opened doors for me, I met some amazing people and made a lot of friends.  Except for some short term jobs I had when I first moved to Washington, my bosses have been the best.  Truly ethical people who did their part to help the little guy.

Work

Now that I'm leaving, I'm having to take photos of everything since it's going to be a good, long time before I return.

This is where I have worked for over 10 years, in Fircrest.  I love my boss and my friend/coworker and  I never thought I'd see the day when I would leave. I've always teased Steve that he wasn't allowed to retire because I was not looking for another job.

Looking west down 19th Street.

And east up 19th Street.

Tacoma Community College across the street.

The "Lindsay" in the firm name left in 2006 to become a Court Commissioner.  Steve said it cost too much to get the sign carved so he wasn't going to replace it.  I suggested he just take a belt sander to it.  lol  ;-)

TAPCO Credit Union next door and their sign with the time and temperature.

My eye doctor's office was on the first floor.

My office windows on the left and my printer room on the right.

Deb's truck and distinctive I-B RED plates.

Back stairs & my boss' car.

My & Steve's cars.

View from our front door.

Rest in Peace, Old Paint

Well, our uber reliable Toshiba copier finally died.  It hit a million copies in February, 2010, and died in May, 2011 with 1,136,045 copies on it.

It'll be sad to see it taken away next week.

A Bittersweet Time

The For Sale sign went up last week.  I do love my house and I am sad to leave it.  I will miss Washington State and the PNW.  

I've done a terrible job labeling boxes.  When I finally unpack some time this summer or early fall, it will be like christmas, opening up the boxes to see what's inside.  

I don't have a lot of kitchen boxes at all.  I've packed my baking stuff and mugs, but I'm leaving nearly all the pots, pans, utensils and plates behind.  Maybe as I get closer to leaving, I'll see if there is anything Brian doesn't want.  He's not been dealing well with my packing, and he has gotten mad that he comes into a room to see it stripped and packed.  But I can't wait for him to decide he's able to cope w/ splitting things up. I know what things are 'mine' and what are 'his', and I'm honest enough to divide the stuff fairly.  The stuff stacked on the chair is to go to Goodwill.  

Still have my room, the family room and my craft closet left to pack-n-purge.

Disconnected or Apathetic?

I snagged this picture off Facebook.  It really, really cracked me up.  It's sort of the way I've been feeling lately about everything. 

Don't get me wrong, I am really glad that bin Laden is finally dead.  But I'll be honest, it's a hollow victory. It's nearly 10 years too late.  He's had all this time to name and train his successors, and how many more people have died in the Middle East since 9/11?  There will always be some fundamentalist whack job waiting in the wings to do Allah's alleged bidding.  When I saw the status updates announcing the news on Facebook, I didn't really feel like it was going to be one of those 'where were you when you heard' moments.  Like when the Challenger exploded or Kennedy was shot.  It was like,  yeah OK, so they finally got him, but nothing's gonna stop.  The wars aren't going to end now.  The terrorists are still going to try to attack us.  What's the retribution going to be?  It's like living in earthquake country, always waiting for that other shoe to drop.  Is it gonna be today?  How about today?

Do I feel this way because I'm so caught up in my own world right now that I can't devote the energy to realize the history-making moment this is?  Or am I just so bloody sick and tired of hearing about the wars and al Quaeda and all the other by products of that Middle Eastern quagmire we've gotten ourselves into but good.  Was this a history-making moment for you?

Attitude: The Difference Between Ordeal and Adventure

I got the title of this post from a status that my friend Marsha posted on Facebook.  It's a great quote. I don't know if she got it somewhere or made it up, but I love it.

Attitude really is the difference between Ordeal and Adventure.  

I cannot tell you how much at peace I am, especially after doing that post about being financially ruined, and it's a little surreal and scary.  It's like, "what have you done with the real Joanne?"  I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop, for me to have an out and out panic attack.  A total freakout.  Even a good cry.

When I got back from the Cape, I was in full-on stress mode.  I was tearful at night when I went to bed, and not just because I missed my boyfriend.  I engaged in a lot of hand wringing about:  Where are we gonna live? How soon can we look for a place? Should I start looking and making calls now?  Should we live on or off Cape?  Will they allow dogs?  What about a job?  I will have no money, so should I start looking for a job? Now? Wait?  And OMG I have so much to do! Sell the house! Make sure the car is in good running shape! See my doctor and get a recent gyno/mammo before I lose my insurance!  Pack!  Separate two decades' worth of marital possessions with someone who isn't taking this division of property at all well!  Leave a job I like (most of the time) and a boss I love!  Leave a region I love! Divorce my husband of 22 years!  Do everything on my own for this move! Phone calls! Phone calls! Phone calls!

And yet, somehow I've managed to let go of the stress and 'what ifs'.  All of it.  It doesn't matter.  It'll work out.  It always does.  In the past, when I moved to California and then Washington, I threw myself into research.  I subscribed to the newspapers, started checking apartment rentals and job ads. I had a plan.  But for this major life change?  All I have managed to determine is when I'm leaving, approximately when I'm arriving on the Cape and when my stuff gets there.  I've also determined that all my stuff is being stored in the Coop.  Beyond that?  Not a clue.  No idea. No plan. Nada. Zip. Zilch. Squat.  And furthermore, I don't. Even. Care. Cavalier?  Denial? Call it what you want.  

I was raised to be a worrier.  Worry about money, worry about finding a job and a place to live.  Worry worry worry.  My mom's going to want to know what my plans are. She is a worrier/"what if?" person.  She drives me crazy with her 'devil's advocate' questioning too. She wants me to be stable and I appreciate that, but right now I'm flying by the seat of my pants and that's really OK with me.  

Stress has run, and ruined, my life. I've been such an angry person for sooooo many years.  I can't stand who I have become.  My own self loathing & self esteem issues have eaten me alive and robbed me of the youngest years of my life.  The chest pains, depression, excessive sleeping, nausea, panic attacks, road rage, TMJ, dermatographism/rashes, hair coming out in clumps: All stress related.  My job has become so complex over the past few years.  Right after 9/11, and for about 8-9 months, maybe about a year, divorces dropped off significantly.  Everyone was scared shitless, hunkered down and nesting.  We saw a spike in our estate planning during that time period.  Our divorces have surged as the memory of 9/11 recedes into the distance, and taken place with other stressors of life and the economic collapse.  The divorces have gotten so confrontational because people are so vindictive, moreso than normal.  Every single case goes to trial now.  No one wants to give an inch to the other person so I am battered and beaten down every day by pain in the ass clients and asshole opposing counsel.  It's taken a huge toll on my health.  I can't go back into law.  I don't care how well it pays, I have no desire to do this grind again.  I'm sick of waking up at 2:00 a.m. in a cold sweat, wondering if I've confirmed a hearing on time, or scheduled a court reporter for the 9:00 a.m. deposition. It's not worth it.  

Knowing that it's coming to an end has been a bittersweet relief.  I enjoyed a 20+ year career in law and it was very interesting and fun.  I got to meet some really cool people and experience some amazing things because of where I worked and/or who I worked for.  And knowing that I am voluntarily not going to work right away is a novelty, and very foreign to me, but on the other hand, I'm too tired to look for work either.  I need time off.  I deserve time off.  I've never taken anything extended.  I've never been off work more than 3-4 weeks tops.  I want to be off this fall and through the holidays.  I want to make a happy, stable home for my man and me, and our dogs.  I want peace and quiet. I want to be able to sleep till 8 if I want, get up leisurely, call mom see if she needs something.  Do crafts and work on my Etsy store.  Walk the dogs. Go shooting photos.  See my girlfriends.  Take care of errands & chores during the week, so that when my sweet baby comes home on the weekend, we can enjoy being together, without the distraction of the 'honey do' list. 

That is why I have adopted the "Adventure" Attitude, over "Ordeal", because for the first time in a long, long time, I am so happy.  My man makes me want to be a better person.  If I really am going to try and make a real, positive change in my life, I have to be committed to it.  When I'm in Victoria or traveling on my own, I'm a different person. I'm happy, friendly and smiling.  I'm the person I want to be every day, but can't because of the pressures that cave in on me. My crappy commute, my crappy clients, what mood is Brian gonna be in tonite, will the house be in shambles, is he at the bar, has he taken money out of the bank, how are we gonna keep the house when we're running out of money, is he ever gonna get a job.....ad nauseum.  I'm so over that.  I want to be happier and more relaxed.  I can't be when I am killing myself with the 'what ifs'.  

I have made my peace with the loss of some possessions that I really liked.  Brian's taken the lion's share of the DVDs, including ones I really wanted.  I'm sure I'm gonna lose a bunch of CDs that I really like too.  And posters.  He doesn't like having to split this stuff up, and I can see a bit of a vindictive streak coming out in him when it comes to movies we both wanted.  I know his position is, "I'm not the one that wanted this divorce, so you will take what I let you have." That's fine.  I don't need confrontation over who gets the Harry Potter books or the "Clerks" DVD.  It's a small price to pay to quietly and quickly exit this marriage, close the door on this chapter in my life and start a new life with the man I love.  I don't care how broke we are.  I don't care if we end up in a one bed/one bath rental, I don't care if I get a part time job or not.  Making a ton of money isn't important to me anymore.  As long as we have enough to pay the rent and the bills, that's all I care about.

I've let it go.  I have to let the anger go.  It's toxic and it's killing me and I need to make the torture stop.  

Deconstructing the Den

The den has always been my fave room in the house b/c of it's warmth and eclectica.  

More books.  My dad built that book shelf and that's coming with me too.  Can't see the bottom shelf but that is full of record albums.  They also weigh a ton and require many, many boxes.

The chair is coming with me too, if it fits.  My parents bought 2 gold wing chairs a few years after I was born, and this is the only one that has survived.  It's comfy and I hate to part with it.  

Man that's a lot of junk stuff.  More books.  There are going to be boxes and boxes AND BOXES of books.

Isn't this Ponderosa map a kick?  I got it in 1988 when my dad and I were at Lake Tahoe and we went up to Incline Village, NV to see the Cartwright Ranch.  It was a blast.  It closed a few years ago.  I treasure this poster.

Brian's brewing awards.

More knick knacks and books.

Everything's off the walls except the decorative switchplates.

One week later, the closet is cleaned out except for those tape cases on the floor which are full of live Dead shows. I have to go through them and pick the shows that Brian will want.  I have all the books packed from the bookshelf my dad made, but the albums are only done A - C.  I hate packing albums.  I can't overload the boxes or else they will come apart.  So I saved that PITA task for last.  

Boxes of my books and Christmas decorations.

I still have to pack the books & stuff on the 2 small bookshelves (the books on the large bookcase are Brian's).  

I figure another couple of hours and this room will be done too.  Then I can move on to the upstairs.  I admit I'm getting concerned whether or not the POD unit will be big enough for all my stuff!  lol  

Onwards and upwards!!